The Hehe Complex

Because of my overwhelming need to be liked by everyone, I have developed the hehe complex. This isn’t that huge of a deal. I consulted a future-doctor friend who suffers from the same neuropsychiatric disorder and she does not think that it’s anything to be alarmed about. For one, despite this being a relatively new disorder, it’s pretty prevalent among those who text, blog, blog-hop, and instant message. Another, there aren’t any available medications for this condition yet, perhaps because this hasn’t been proven to be harmful to other people. At least not yet.

I do not remember exactly when I started to develop the hehe complex. I just realized earlier today that I’ve been suffering from this condition for as long as I can remember. My doctor friend shared how worried she was that when she apologized to someone over SMS, she ended her text with a “hehe,” which, for her, was inappropriate. How could that other person have possibly taken her apology when she wrote “I’m sorry. Hehe.”?

This made me realize that I add “hehe” on almost every text and instant message that I send, and I got into thinking that this is so because I wanted to be liked, and missing to add “hehe” would seem that I was mad at, or worse, bored by, that other person.

“Hehe,” as we already know, translates to a chuckle. Most of the time, it’s a nervous chuckle. Other times, it’s just a polite one. Mine are mostly polite hehes. Sometimes, they’re nervous, but only subtly, much like when I go: “Are you top or bottom? Hehe.”

Other hehe people—or in medical terms, hehe retards—have their own ways of using the “hehe.” There are those that use “hehe” to confess something, but want a preemptive loophole to take it back in case the truth is not taken lightly.

“No, Ma, I only tried pot once. I’m really more into meth. Hehe.”

The “hehe” in the aforementioned sentence is pretty much the same “hehe” used in the following:

“Yes, we’ve been friends for years, and you’re in love with her. But dammit, I want you. I love you. Each day is like torture knowing you aren’t mine. Hehe.”

If you really think about it, this is actually a self-preserving condition in which the person with the disorder enables him/herself to save face. The bad news, though, is that if left unnoticed, the hehe complex may soon evolve into the haha complex, which is a much more involved psychiatric condition that needs treatment fast.

“I’m very sorry for your loss. Your sister was an exceptional person. Haha.”

To date, no studies have been conducted yet about the hehe complex. Please consider this as an open letter to men of science to finally take notice of this condition. Hehe.

(OMG! That was such a predictable ending!)

P.S. Next week’s topic will be the OMG complex.