Lead Character Almost Misses His Flight

Season 2 Episode 02

LEAD CHARACTER hops into a cab and tells the CABBIE to take him to the airport, fast, as he’s running late. His flight is at 4:20pm. It’s already 3:10. The CABBIE smiles as he steps on it.

CABBIE: Who’s your President?

LEAD CHARACTER: Huh?

CABBIE: Your President … who are you voting for?

LEAD CHARACTER: Yeah, I know. I was just wondering why you want to know.

CABBIE: You know, people who are in a hurry are usually mocked by Fate. You get all sorts of interceptions along the way and you might end up missing your flight.

LEAD CHARACTER: OK! I’m voting for Noynoy.

The cab accelerates.

CABBIE: I’m voting for Villar.

LEAD CHARACTER: OK.

LEAD CHARACTER manages to stop his face from throwing out a look of disgust. He thinks Villar is full of shit. Villar’s campaign revolves around having grown up poor in order to appeal to the masses. LEAD CHARACTER doesn’t believe any of it, and he’s annoyed that people actually buy it. With Villar in his TVC are really poor children (or child actors portraying poor children), who sing that only Villar can take them out of poverty. If that's the case, why not showcase the children as rich already? Is Villar only planning on making them rich after shooting the commercial, or after the elections, in case he wins? And what if he doesn't win? Will those children stay poor?

CABBIE: Why are you voting for Noynoy, anyway?

LEAD CHARACTER (squirming in his seat): It’s just a family consensus. My mother wants our votes to be uniform.

The truth is, LEAD CHARACTER is still torn between Gibo and Noynoy. Gibo for he’s such a cutie, and Noynoy for having come from a decent, historically-relevant family. Yes, per LEAD CHARACTER’S standards, Kris Aquino is decent, and she herself is historically-relevant—all by herself. (Who else kept an entire nation glued to the TV screen to hear her recount having contracted a sexually transmitted disease?) LEAD CHARACTER is yet to vote for a dream president, though. His dream president would have to have a no-bullshit campaign that encourages a certain belief system that LEAD CHARACTER would have to delve deeper into in another episode as it’s neither here nor there.

Later, they get jammed in traffic. The CABBIE turns to LEAD CHARACTER and winks.

CABBIE: I told you. Interceptions.

LEAD CHARACTER sinks in his seat.

They arrive at the airport at 3:50pm. There should still be enough time. LEAD CHARACTER sprints to the Check-In Counter. There are around 4 people huddled around it. A SECURITY GUARD notices LEAD CHARACTER.

GUARD: Where are you off to?

LEAD CHARACTER: Kalibo.

GUARD (panicked): Oh Em Eff Gee!!! (to the counter) We have another one for Kalibo! This isn’t good…. (to LEAD CHARACTER) Give me your papers! Quick!

LEAD CHARACTER feels like throwing up. He hands his itinerary and ID to the GUARD.

Weird enough, LEAD CHARACTER gets his boarding pass first. The 3 or 4 people queueing, which include a kindly nun, have not gotten their boarding passes yet.

LEAD CHARACTER heads to where he’s supposed to pay for a terminal fee. It’s closed. He doesn’t know what to do. He starts to think how nuns bother him. Nuns immediately get good impressions for wearing a habit. People inevitably think of them as cool and gentle because of what they wear. Even LEAD CHARACTER thinks of them immediately as kind and cool and gentle. Even the nun earlier at the Check-In Counter who moved at a glacial pace seemed nice and readily likable. But the other civilians in line, Lead Character would have to size them up first for the way they speak, the way they dress, and, if possible, see if they were Mac or Windows users.

GUARD: What are you doing? Go to the next one! You’re lucky you were allowed in. The plane’s already cruising….

LEAD CHARACTER runs. He runs his chubby ass out to the gate, zooming past the waiting area, straight to the tarmac where, from a distance, under the piercing heat of the sun, men in yellow point him to where his plane is. Looking ahead, he sees three planes lined up, and he doesn’t know which one the men are pointing to. He takes his chances and goes up to the first one. FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1 is standing over him at the top of the ladder.

LEAD CHARACTER (panting): Is this for Kalibo?

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1: Why, yes, Sir.

LEAD CHARACTER, relieved like crazy, steps inside and finds that … lo and behold … he's all alone, except for FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2, who smiles at him earnestly.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2: LEAD CHARACTER, you’re the first to arrive.

THE END

The Gospel According to Lead Character - Noah's Ark

This will be a new section on here, something which Lead Character wishes to enlighten his viewers/readers with every week.

For this week, the Gospel According to Lead Character* is the story of Noah and his famous Ark.





* Please note that this section is inspired by Stewie Griffin of Family Guy. He once told Brian Griffin the story of when God asked Abraham to kill his son Isaac, and Lead Character thought it was genius.

Lead Character's Top Ten Favorite Movies of the Noughties

I'm lazy so I will not bother telling the story why I love these movies. I would just have to list them all. Happy New Year, Lead Character fans! ;)

10. Mga Pusang Gala (2005), Ellen Ongkeko-Marfil

9. This Is England (2006), Shane Meadows

8. Y tu mamá también (2001), Alfonso Cuarón

7. Requiem for a Dream (2000), Darren Aronofsky

6. Engkwentro (2009), Pepe Diokno

5. Rachel Getting Married (2008), Jonathan Demme

4. Closer (2004), Mike Nichols

3. Lost In Translation (2003), Sofia Coppola

2. Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (2005), Auraeus Solito

1. There Will Be Blood (2007), P.T. Anderson

Runners Up:
Das Leben Der Anderen (2006), Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Amores Perros (2000), Alejandro González Iñárritu
Slumdog Millionaire (2008), Danny Boyle
The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001, 2002, 2003), Peter Jackson
Love Actually (2003), Richard Curtis
De battre mon coeur s'est arrêté (2005), Jacques Audiard

Sci-Hi '99 10-Year High School Reunion Live Blog

Just got here at Microtel for our Tanned @ Ten, Sci-Hi 99's 10-year high school reunion.

Present so far are Paul Y, Carina, Joy M., Joy B., Abigail Cruz, Julius C., Simpay, Den2x, Anna Monisit (whose first comment is that I'd gone chubby!!!), Anbern, John Misa, and of course, yours truly.

Polyne L. and Marlou Q. were sent home for not wearing all-white.

Here's a snapshot of me and Joy B. on our way to Microtel.

4:54PM: More people have arrived: June Ediza, Joan T., Ethel Jo, John Maunes.

5:03PM: The arrival of the Naning Girls: Joy P., Aileen O., Kristine E., Shereen (is this how her name is spelled? I'm so sorry Shereen!), and Michelle M. OMG, Michelle M. looks effing hot. Honest!

5:10PM: Things are quiet for now. Probably because we're all hungry. I, for one, am VERY hungry.

Thanks for the comments, Tim! Wish you were here! Ma-micture sa ko. Joy B. is chatting right now with Tim and Chiqui on YM. Julius hinted people will be thrown into the pool later. I hope not. I cannot take my shirt off because of large, distinct hickies. It's a hot mess.

5:18PM: Cathy G. just arrived. They're singing "Maayong buntag kapamilya" to her (or at her? Hehehe).

Here are more pictures:

Kristine Echica, I'm sorry for calling you a bitch earlier! You're very nice. :)

5:33PM: We're about to start. Joy B. will be leading the prayer, Prayer for the Nation by Ferdinand Marcos - the very 30-minute prayer we used to recite back in high school during flag ceremony on Mondays and flag retreat on Fridays.

Re: Chiqs, what do you mean you and Tims are facing the wall? OMG! I know what you mean now. I'll find the laptop giving you the broadcast!

Time lapse: OK I think it's fixed now.

Josua Sacedon just arrived.

5:44PM: Here come Kenneth, Punky, Debbie, and Toni. :D They are greeted with yells.

Joy fucked up the prayer a couple of times. Polyne then gave a welcome speech.

Now, games.

I'm so hungry!

Erratum: Punky is not here. Must have seen his doppleganger.

6:02PM: Just got voted Funniest in Class, much to Kenneth's dismay. He thinks he's the funniest. Won a Victoria's Secret Lotion. Woot!

More people just arrived. No, we haven't eaten yet. Glency's here. Still stunning as ever. Thomas E is here, too. She's also stunning. I was absolutely stunned. I think I spotted Don Fruto (Wala ka na Don Fruto!). Kette Espinas also got here. Some people say he looks a bit like Joy Marpa now. I am yet to acknowledge that.

6:16PM: Just finished playing games. Dinner now. Will take a break.

Later!

6:48PM: Done eating. Can't believe I finished in just 20 minutes. People are still talking, reminiscing. More people got here since my last update. There was Czarnie, James Mangubat, Rodney, Mutia Dakila (or Dakila Mutia?). Not sure yet what the organizers have in store for everyone next.

8:08PM: Beer drinking contest, girl edition:

June won. Shameless!

4:22AM: We're at Glency's. Drunk and tired. Only a few people remain. Will post updates by tomorrow when I wake up. Need to copyedit and put captions on pictures.

I'm very sorry Andrea if we logged off the webcam before you got home. VERY VERY SORRY!!! Thanks for the lechon, though. ;)

Lead Character Is a Kid Who Doesn't Fit In, Among Other Things

By admission of Lauren Leto, creator of this very neat site Texts from Last Night, Lead Character is a kid who doesn't fit in, a smart geek, a workaholic seeking validation, and at the same time a girl who keeps journals whose significant other grabs him (or her?) under the table in order to shut him (or her?) up whenever someone else at a dinner says something absolutely ridiculous and wrong.

Lead Character is thankful that by being stereotyped by his favorite authors, he now knows more about himself.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Lead Character is not a Jesus person, but is thankful nonetheless for the celebration of Christmas.

(Lauren Leto should also point out that if you love Richard Dawkins and J.D. Salinger at the same time, you are a non-Jesus person who enjoys Christmas.)

Engkwentro (2009)

Most movies that I really love only won me over because of their ending. It doesn’t matter much to me if while watching it all I can say is that it’s mediocre. When the ending bowls me over, I will say it’s a favorite. PT Anderson’s Magnolia was just a great movie for me until it ended, and I immediately thought it was a work of genius.

Such is a similar case with Engkwentro (English title: Clash), debut film of 22-year-old Pepe Diokno. It was just OK for me, but then the ending made me gasp. It’s already December 13th, and I finally saw my favorite movie of the year.

The movie opens with words over black: “In the last decade, over 814 people have been killed by state-sponsored vigilantes in the Philippines. Many of the victims were children.” This made me shift in my seat. A movie made by a 22-year-old with political agenda; man, this is going to suck. When I was 22, all I cared about was booze, among other petty things.

But I was wrong. About twenty minutes into the movie, I completely forgot about its political agenda. I sat up, realizing that that entire twenty minutes had been one long take, only to get cut around ten minutes later. I wouldn’t say it was all that effective. It was clumsy at best, but still, the effort was astounding.

I am not a big fan of indie movies shot digitally. The shaky camera work is usually nauseating. Worse, the lighting is compromised. In Engkwentro, when it’s dark, it’s really dark. I’m not sure if Pepe Diokno had a cinematographer, or if the cinematographer just called in sick when they did those shots. And even if this technique is supposed to heighten the realism of it all, all I can feel is annoyance. In the movie’s chase/fight scenes, I was tempted to climb up the projection booth to adjust the contrast, brightness, and perhaps play it all in slow motion.

What makes Engkwentro a rare gem, though, in the world of crappy Pinoy indie movies, is that it doesn’t wallow in shock value. If anything, its supposed “shock value” is nothing but lame. As the camera goes around a labyrinthine slums area, it catches nothing special. Sure, kids are smoking cigarettes and weed, drinking beer, playing around with a gun, but none of those things are anything to be so shocked about. In this day and age when filmmakers are up to their asses pushing the envelope, Pepe Diokno chose to simply sit on it, which isn’t a bad thing. There is something else that the young director wants to push across: a message. Vigilante killing is wrong. And I am reminded of this by the end of the movie, when that hitman whispers to a sobbing young boy, describing how calm and quiet the sea is, right before the cold-blooded gunshot. This one scene, I thought, was chilling.

Best part of watching the movie in SM Cinema 8, though, was waiting for it to start. There were only two of us in the movie house. Apparently, New Moon has more importance to the Filipino moviegoing community that virtually no one bothered to watch Engkwentro. And what do you do when there’s no one else in the theater and what they play is Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”? Dance, of course.

Paper Cup

My eyes traverse this whole side of the earth
in a paper cup.
I have emptied it a minute ago--
black coffee I almost spilled
when you asked me something
unanswerable

And yet I did answer
the same time I reprimanded myself
for having emptied the cup too soon.
I didn’t want to startle you
so I stayed silent about coffee particles
that have settled to the base:

They refuse to dissolve, continents of them
like how it must feel
to stay self, particulate
despite intimations of promises
I cannot dare unmask.
And I bask

At how well I hid from you
the strangest information of
their motility when I tilted the container--
paper cup whose rim I tore up
when I told you something
incomprehensible

Like time.

Latak (English Title: Residue)

From the opening lines of this trailer alone, I can tell that this movie is going to rock my world. The main character goes “How could you do this to me? My God! I trusted you. How could you do this to me?” For me, the delivery is just so powerful it closely competes with Mark Lapid’s delivery of “Oo! Inaamin ko! Saging lang kami! Pero maghanap ka ng puno sa buong Pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso! Saging lang ang may puso!” (“Yes, I admit it! We’re but bananas! But you can search all the trees in the entire Philippines, only the banana has a heart! Only the banana has a heart!”) in the movie Apoy sa Dibdib ng Samar (Flame at the Heart of Samar). I can just prophesize that Latak will offer this century a new addition to classic movie lines, like “You’re nothing but a second-rate, trying-hard copycat!” and “Here’s looking at you, kid.” Yes, even through the trailer alone, I can tell that Latak is going to be a classic in Casablanca magnitude.

And don’t even get me started with the synopsis. On the movie’s Multiply site, it poses you the question: “What if your nightmare faces you?” Immediately after reading that single line, I asked myself, “What if indeed?” And what I got were chills down my spine. I do not ever want to find out. This movie is just so profound and I’ve only seen the trailer! The site goes on with the following:

When a young director Andrew Locsin discovers the cruel betrayal of his lover and friends, his vice triggers a destructive entanglement of his dark past.

An ordeal that was haunting his unconsciousness and
 graphic memories, surfaces. Thrown into a mix of
 spine-chilling hallucinations and paranoia he comes face to face with the mysterious ghosts of a mother and a girl. With no one
to
trust, the demons in his nightmares appear in his fight for survival in a horrifying doomed reality.

Extracted from a tumultuous true to life events, the film
will take you into the dark side of grim reality.

I don’t know about you, guys, but that just screams Fellini to me. I mean, wow. This might even be better than a Fellini as I slept through 8 1/2. But this one, Latak. . .even the trailer moves me so deeply that whenever someone does something wrong to me, say, a Starbucks barista gives me my chai latte grande instead of venti, I'd want to tell him/her: "How could you do this to me? My God! I trusted you! How could you do this to me?"

Birthday Dinner

short fiction

MICHEL SETS A plateful of spaghetti on the table. He made it just the way Alfonso likes it: Pinoy-style—sweet and spicy. He next arranges a loaf of bread in a circle on a large plate, with a bar of unsalted butter at the center. His plan is to have them toasted later, buttered, and then sprinkled with McCormick Garlic Bread Sprinkle. Just the way Alfonso likes it.

This is going to be one delightful birthday dinner for Alfonso.

Michel’s relationship with Alfonso is complicated beyond words. This is probably because Michel is a Leo, and he can get pretty cranky at times. When they fight, Michel craves for an argument, an exchange of words, so they can settle their issues in one sitting. Alfonso is Aquarian, and he can be such a pushover, a doormat. It pains Michel each time Alfonso caves with an apology immediately, regardless of whoever’s at fault. No matter how you look at it, it’s always Michel who ends up feeling defeated.

The clock strikes seven. Alfonso should be home any minute. Michel walks over to the fridge and takes out a 1.5-liter bottle of Coke then places it on the table. He leaves the bottle of rum inside the fridge for now. He’s sure Alfonso will want to have a drink later, foreseeably rum-and-Coke, as Alfonso doesn’t really drink anything else. Thankfully, though, Alfonso is not totally a drinker. He simply enjoys a nightcap once in a while. Usually Alfonso comes home too exhausted from work he only has time for dinner, a drink, and the first ten minutes of a Hollywood movie that he falls asleep to.

Alfonso is quite fond of Hollywood movies. He is drawn to the glamorous look of the celebrities that star in them. Alfonso’ss favorite movie, as far as Michel knows, is Heathers, a 1989 film starring Wynona Rider and Christian Slater. The movie, if Michel remembers correctly, circles around the topic of teen suicide, and it amuses him that Alfonso is so into it, even if Alfonso is the least suicidal person he knows.

It’s seven-thirty. Michel is hungry. He pours himself half a glass of Coke and grabs a slice of bread. He figures he and Alfonso should have dinner together, so a slice of bread shall do for now. He considers lighting some candles for a moment. “Candles… Ha!” he says out loud then shakes his head in amusement. Alfonso would never want a candle-lit dinner. It’s too… bourgeois. That is one thing Michel really likes about Alfonso. Alfonso doesn’t thrive on things that are beyond them. Michel can sum up Alfonso with Pinoy-style spaghetti, quasi-garlic bread, and rum-and-Coke. None too lavish.

Eight-fifteen, the clock says. Michel curls up in the sofa and grabs a book. He’s not really into books, but there’s nothing else to do. Alfonso meanwhile is quite literate. The dork has probably read all of Sidney Sheldon and Tom Clancy and Frederick Forsythe. Michel doesn’t even know squat about any of them. He tries to read a chapter off the book he’s grabbed. “’If Tomorrow Comes.’ Interesting title…” Michel tells himself. A couple of pages into it, he dozes off.

* * *

THERE’S HEAVY POUNDING on the door and Michel jolts right up. Eleven-thirty, the clock tells him. He runs to the door and opens it.

“What the fuck took you—“

Alfonso falls right to the floor.

“Jesus! What happened?” He pulls Alfonso up and finds that his shirt is smeared with blood. Alfonso’s right eye is bruised and swollen and his gums and ears are bleeding.

“Trouble with a client…” Alfonso says, barely audibly.

Michel drags Alfonso to the sofa and lets him lie there. “I’ll go get some water.” He runs to the kitchen.

Alfonso starts to sob. “I want to stop doing this.”

“C’mon, now. Don’t say that.” Michel goes back over to Alfonso and has him take a few gulps of cold water. “What happened?”

“The new client, the middle-aged notary public, that sonofabitch. He wanted to take all ten packets but he could only pay for half of them…” Alfonso can barely finish his sentences. He is sobbing and gasping for air at the same time. “Then he started hitting me, and kicking me, and he took everything, including all the money. I could barely make it here. I had to walk.”

Michel shakes his head. “That motherfucker….” He stares at Alfonso, who is by now crouching on the sofa like a scared caterpillar. He strokes Alfonso’s head. “Are you hungry? I cooked some spaghetti for you, and I can toast you some bread with butter and garlic sprinkle….”

Alfonso doesn’t say anything back.

Michel sighs and starts to stand up. “Just stay there. I’ll bring you the food myself.”

In the kitchen, while toasting bread, Michel hears Alfonso calling out to him.

“What?” he yells back.

Alfonso calls out to him again with that scratchy voice. Michel can barely make out any words.

“I can’t hear you, Alfonso. Just wait for me to get back there, OK?”

Michel goes back to Alfonso with a plateful of spaghetti and toasted bread, now buttered and sprinkled with McCormick Garlic Bread Sprinkle. His heart breaks at the sight of Alfonso, all battered like a crushed worm.

“What were you saying?” he asks.

Alfonso clears his throat and hesitates for a minute. “I…”

“What?” Michel grins. “C’mon, it’s your birthday. You can say anything.”

“I want to stop doing this. I’m serious. It’s too much. Please…” Alfonso begins to sob again.

Michel stares at Alfonso for a minute, heaving deeply. Then he hurls the plate to the wall. “You ungrateful piece of shit!” He grabs Alfonso by the collar. “Do you know how much trouble I’ve been through for you? Do you even have any idea?”

Alfonso looks him in the eye, quaking with fear. “It’s just that—“

He strikes Alfonso across the face. Alfonso sobs harder. Michel drops Alfonso back on the sofa. “Look…” he says, gently, in a consoling tone. “Let’s not get into this, OK?”

Alfonso’s sobbing slowly begins to subside.

“It’s your birthday, Alfonso. Just eat. There’s still spaghetti left on the table.”

Alfonso nods, sniffling and wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

Michel sits beside Alfonso, stroking his back. “You’re twelve now. In a few months, you’ll be in high school. Just give it four more years. Just finish high school and then you’re free to go. You do want to finish high school, don’t you?”

Alfonso nods again.

“Besides, once I get to bail Paolo out of prison, your load will get lighter. It’s just difficult right now, what with Mickey’s death and all.”

“OK.”

Michel stands up and yawns. “I’m going to bed. Clean up that mess, will you?” He nods his head towards the broken plate and spilt food across the room. “I haven’t even eaten yet. I waited for you all night. You have to think about other people for once.”

Alfonso starts for the broom and dustpan behind the door. “I’m sorry,” he says under his breath.

“And get something to eat before you go to bed,” Michel says as he opens the door to his room. “I don’t want you to sleep hungry.”

“I will, Tito.”

Michel gives Alfonso one last look before stepping inside his room. It truly breaks his heart, the way Alfonso submits with an apology all the time. He’s a good boy, that Alfonso, considering.

“Good night! I’ll take care of that dickhead tomorrow, don’t worry.” Michel closes the door behind him. He considers buying Alfonso a DVD copy of Heathers in the morning, as a post-birthday gift. “And happy birthday!” he yells from his room.

“Thank you,” Alfonso says as he starts to sweep the floor.

THE END

Waiting

There are minutes, and there are
Hours -- and half of one
Already seems too long
If your hands are empty

Of someone else's skin
To fondle.
He promised me his time, yet
I still feel like a fool, asking for half a day

Of his.
Tongue, lips, heaving chest --
Like minutes they dissolve
Into mere memories. I do not

Recall ever wanting him
This much,
Such that I'd will myself
To sit idle

Waiting for him to show up.
Until minutes clump into a half-hour
And the fool that I make
Myself out of

Flutter off abandoned in the wind
Like a candy wrapper on a
Cold, cold
Morning.