Lead Characterisms

Over the years, Lead Character has let go of some of the wisest pieces of advice for his friends. He’s never documented any of them, but he realizes now that it’s about time that he does.

Lead Characterism can be a movement, much like Ayn Rand’s Objectivism. And no, this isn’t entirely narcissistic as Lead Characterism does not have to be about Lead Character himself, but to anyone who wants to be the lead character in the movie of their lives. Lead Character has met hundreds of people. The 434 friends in his Facebook profile is but a pinch. There’s probably 20 more that haven’t added him up yet. And of those 454 people that he’s met in his entire lifetime, only a handful has shown that they are lead characters. Just like Lead Character, most people just do not have the balls to be in the spotlight and just settle for being sidekicks or (gasp!) extras.

So do not be a sidekick or an (gasp!) extra anymore. Learn from Lead Character.

• Physics and Calculus have opposing definitions when it comes to Love. In Physics, Love is like Energy; it can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be transferred. In Calculus, Love = DNE. It would make sense for Lead Character to go with Calculus. Because with Calculus, it would follow that Pain = DNE. Because think about it. What happens when you lose Energy? You get backlogs at work!
• In a post-apocalyptic world, the only useful people are doctors, architects, carpenters, farmers, and scientists. But perhaps during idle time while rebuilding society, performers, especially comedians, will come in handy. Athletes will be very useful, too, but not as athletes. The scary part is that, for sure, politicians will still push for themselves as important.
• There is no such thing as pre-marital sex if you do not intend to or cannot get married. For some, it's simply pre-dinner, or pre-2012. Hopefully, though, not pre-school or postmortem.
• It is fine to be stuck in the past, just not physically.
• In Third World culinary, white vinegar and Sprite can be substitute for white wine.
• If someone steals your cell phone, steal it right back.
• If you let the cat out of the bag, be prepared for it to go “meow!”
• Do not let a tiger out of the bag. Never!
• Lesbians are fun to hang out with.
• Cameron Diaz is annoying.
• What looks like a wart can be a tumor all along. Do not attempt to cauterize it with Lion-Tiger katol. Consult your doctor.
• When you have no sense of direction, the less things upset you.
• There’s no such thing as living in the moment. You can be having fun with your friends, seemingly enjoying yourself, but there’s always that thing hovering about you that you cannot get rid of: it could be issues at home, an ex you still can’t get over, or an ingrown nail.
• Find humor in your heartache and you’ll be fine.

That’s all that Lead Character can remember for now. Until next time!