Great Boobs of Fire!

(Season One Finale)

Lead Character and Tee, girlfriend of his girl friend Dee, are sitting bored out of their wits outside Seattle's Best at the Terraces. Dee is still inside finishing something on her laptop. By the time she catches up with Lead Character and Tee, the two are already talking about the Roman Polanski case, the term "hebephilia," the song "Hands Clean" by Alanis Morissette, which is about hebephilia, and, as brought up by Tee, the movie Great Balls of Fire!, which is based on the true story of '50s musician Jerry Lee Lewis, who married a 13-year-old.

Dee: OMG, Tee. Do you have to be such a know-it-all?

Tee: Huh? Really? Was I being a know-it-all? It just so happens I remember the movie....

Lead Character: Yeah, I never really got that know-it-all vibe from you....

Lead Character stops and checks out the guy passing by. The guy has smooth, probably medically-enhanced, skin, and gigantic, gym-developed pecs.

Lead Character (to Dee and Tee): Man, look at those man-boobs! That guy is hot!

Dee knots her brows at Lead Character, right before taking a bat from her purse and clubbing Lead Character with it on the head.

Dee: You horny bitch! Don't you recognize the girl that he's with?

Lead Character (while massaging his bleeding temples): Huh? Who?

Tee: Oh, yeah! I recognize her.

Lead Character (squints at Recognizable Girl): Oh, yeah!

Dee (teary-eyed): OMG! We have to have our picture taken with her! OMG!

Lead Character: OMG! Let's! Let's!

Tee: Um, hehe, yeah, I'll just pass.

Dee and Lead Character hurry off to Recognizable Girl. Other losers mall customers are already having their pictures taken with her.

Dee and Lead Character: Hi, Recognizable Girl! Can we go next!

Recognizable Girl (with a friendly yet uncomfortable smile): Sure, sure!

After Lead Character takes Dee's picture with Recognizable Girl, Lead Character stands right next to Recognizable Girl, whom he realizes now must play Lead Character in Lead Character Chronicles: The Movie.

Dee raises her Blackberry in front of them.

Dee: Say Cheese!

CLICK!

Lead Character (telling himself): This is sooo going on my blog!