Jay-R!!!

Last Saturday, December 4th, Lead Character had the chance to be at the Passionata Gleek Squad Showdown, a show choir competition held at the Cebu Doctor's University Auditorium. obviously inspired by the TV show "Glee."

The first contestant, The UCLM Choir, did "Bohemian Rhapsody," which was actually quite good that Lead Character almost cried, making him miss being at events like Passionata. It was indeed an inspiring celebration of music, even if most of the numbers were not that original.

It was the guest stars of the evening that proved to be much more noteworthy. Jay-R (of the "Bakit Pa Ba" single-hit-song fame) was delectable. The Asian Troubadours kicked ass with a certain level of musicality that Lead Character thinks deserves an audience at the Carnegie Hall.

In between performances, the organizers held a contest which involved members of the audience dialing a phone number, and whoever was lucky enough for his/her call to get through first, s/he would win the prize. Lead Character had 3 chances of winning, but his calls never made it through, which is fine, because the prizes never got as lucrative as a laptop, anyway. Or a Winnebago. Or a pet kangaroo.

To those who never made it to the show, here's a montage of a few highlights of what was without a doubt a night to remember for a few days. Lead Character would like to apologize beforehand for the video quality because all he had was his phone to shoot the performances with.

If You're Ever in Iloilo, part 4

Season 2 Episode 08

If you're ever in Iloilo, buy your pasalubong from Deocampo Barquillos. Not that Lead Character can say they have the best barquillos and butternuts and pinasugbos, etc., because he hasn't tried any from other stores, but what Lead Character likes about Deocampo is that its pricing is the same in every branch, even in the one at the airport.

JabberedOnion browsing the goods, rather very mechanically,
probably also making mental notes of her budget for the trip,
and how everything's gone awry.

If you're ever in Iloilo, try the "biggest" burger at Perri Todd's, because Lead Character, Joy Bee, JabberedOnion and JabbereOnion's friends from the Cebu Bloggers Society tried it and they weren't disappointed.

Even the burger itself is salivating. Casa Verde's "biggest" burger
is actually bigger, but this looks a lot more enticing.

Lead Character pretends to be taking
first dibs with a hint of aristocracy. (Photo
taken by Rio.)

For a detailed review of Perri Todd's, you might want to check out Rabsin's food blog called iSwallow (sharp, huh?). He hasn't launched it yet, but at Perri Todd's, he pulled the manager from his office and initiated an interview--a classic example of Applied Learning. The day before, they all joined the Visayas Bloggers Summit where Lead Character himself learned quite a handful of useful things about blogging. You might want to check out JabberedOnion's account of the event once she's gotten out of her writer's block. (A memo to JabberedOnion: Please post your entry about the event already, bitch!)

If you're ever in Iloilo and just had a taste of a Perri Todd burger, you might want to hold a contest among your peers: Who can mimic the Perri Todd mascot pose the best?

For Lead Character, he only managed to mimic successfully the mascot's double chin. JabberedOnion captured the eyes. Rabsin got the mouth and the left hand. Joy Bee, most disappointingly, never really tried hard enough.

If you're ever in Iloilo, be sure your stay there is more than just for one weekend. Lead Character only spent a weekend there and he didn't get enough. It's pretty much just like Cebu but with more good-looking waiters, something that almost became Lead Character's undoing. Thankfully, he was able to hold it together. By the time he boarded the plane that was to fly him back to his beloved city, he vowed, just as General MacArthur did, "I shall return."*

*Just so we're clear, Lead Character is not returning to Iloilo to destroy the Japanese. He just wanted something artsy-fartsy for an ending to a four-part series, and he doesn't really have the time nor the intellectual capacity to come up with something better.

Cakewalker's Caffé: A Sanctuary for Med Students and Telecommuters

For about two years now, Lead Character and his friends have been frequenting a quaint little cafe called Cakewalker's Caffé, located at The Strip along Osmeña Blvd., Cebu City.

Lead Character used to wonder why it's called Cakewalker's, and why Caffé is spelled as such. He never really got the chance to ask the owner, but based on his online research, he learned that Caffé is cafe in Italian, and that cakewalk either means (a) n., a strutting dance performed by minstrels or (b) n., an easy accomplishment. Lead Character is not sure about the Italian part, because their menu is very Filipino-American, which includes bacon and egg with rice, and a clubhouse sandwich. As for the definition of cakewalk, he'd like to propose a new dictionary entry:

cakewalk, v., to spend hours at a cafe, whether productively or not, to:

1. escape the drudgery that is your very own lower middle-class home and work (this is if you're a telecommuter like Lead Character and JabberedOnion)
2. review for the medical board exam with your study group (this is if you're med students who enjoy throwing medical words at each other)
3. discuss your legal options with your lawyer (this is if you're a call center agent who just got fired--as witnessed a few months back by Lead Character's friend, who couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation)
4. eavesdrop on other people's conversations (not that Lead Character can help it--yesterday, a recruiter was quite loud describing how interested candidates can work in the UK, with special mention of how the job could change their lives forevah)

Cakewalker's Caffé does not really offer the best coffee; Lead Character still prefers Starbucks and the brewed coffee from Dunkin' Donuts, but it has a couple of standouts, like its selection of Caffé Signature Drinks. It does not offer the best cakes as well (which made Lead Character suspect right from the beginning that the name Cakewalker's might not have anything to do with cakes at all). Recently, though, Lead Character was able to try a slice of what he can only describe as effing decadent.

That being said, the one thing that makes Cakewalker's better than any other coffee shop in the city is its customer service. Its baristas are polite and proactive. When they catch you smoking outside, they take the initiative to bring you an ashtray. When there aren't any more electrical outlets available for you to charge your laptop, they lend you an extension wire. They also say "Thank you for coming" in the most natural way. Starbucks baristas can get phony sometimes, nauseatingly overzealous with their work. At Mr. Coffee, it sometimes feels like they don't care whether you're a customer or not. At Figaro, their demeanor gets lost in their good looks. And don't even get me started on Brown Cup--they complain when you hand them a five-hundred-peso bill and what you ordered is just worth Php100. One time, a Brown Cup barista called a customer a "bitch." Not cool.

Aside from grade A customer service, the ambiance at Cakewalker's is relaxing, like your very own home on a rainy afternoon; you just want to stay indoors and curl up with a book, or browse profiles on Facebook. Several times Lead Character has slept in one of its couches, without having to worry about being judged.

So in case this is the first time you've heard about Cakewalker's, do drop by, order a cup of coffee, just let go, and for the first time in your life, cakewalk.

Like Me!

Due to its increasing popularity (over 4 hits a day! Epic!), The Lead Character Chronicles now has its own Fan Page on Facebook!

Click here to get to the page. Or simply hit the LIKE button on the left side.

Ugh!

If You're Ever in Iloilo, part 3

Season 2 Episode 07

If you're ever in Iloilo, it is a given that you should party at Smallville. Smallville is a vast stretch of road with establishments ranging from coffee shops to restos to bars that cater to economic classes A, B, C, D, E, and well, as you might have already guessed, Koreans. Lead Character learned that the A and B crowd is mostly seen at Ice, and at the area where The Venue is, as Lead Character himself witnessed. Classes C and D go to Pirates, which is where Lead Character and his friends would have definitely belonged if Smallville were in Cebu, but since they're "tourists," they first settled at Mexicana Cantina, hoping to get some shots of cheap tequila. To their dismay, Mexicana Cantina didn't serve Mojitos, leaving them with no choice but drink Jose Cuervo. It's better to go broke than never get drunk at all.

If you're ever in Iloilo, be sure you party with the people. Actually, wherever you are, always make sure you have a night allotted for partying with the local folks, to meet new friends, and really get immersed in their drunken culture. Unfortunately for Lead Character, they hung out instead with fellow Cebuanos. An old grade school friend of Joy Bee's, JP, caught up with them at Mexicana Cantina, followed by JP's friend, JR. (Guys who go by their initials. . .quite interesting. Lead Character considered for a second going by LC, but he realized people might mistake that for Lauren Conrad, and a sentence using LC referring to Lead Character might make Perez Hilton's head spin, i.e., "LC has just been spotted shopping at Tita Guapa." But we digress.)

If you're ever in Iloilo, be sure you party with the people. Lead Character can't quite stress this enough. Because aside from hanging out with fellow Cebuanos, he and his friends didn't go party with the people. They instead went karaoke at the Annex. Karaoke! Something that can be done back in Cebu with fellow Cebuanos! Dagnabbit!

Photo courtesy of JabberedOnion.

This isn't saying Lead Character didn't have fun. JP and JR were extra fun to hang out with. And the Annex, after all, served Mojitos, which was all that Lead Character and his friends ordered for the Php1,200 (consumable, 3 hours worth) that they were charged for for the private videoke room that the Annex staff described as the small room. Lead Character, however, thought it could house two non-abstaining Catholic families. JabberedOnion then contacted her friends, Rabsin and Rio, from the Cebu Bloggers Society. The result was a night full of drunken singing of duets and ambitious solos.

By the time the Annex closed, Lead Character was already out by the bushes puking nothing but bile, saliva, and throat cells, with well-dressed twentysomethings behind him laughing (at him or at something else, Lead Character will never know).

And that, ladies and gents, is how you should not spend a night out in Iloilo. Lead Character would have really preferred bumping and grinding with the people. But then again, remembering now how the night went, Lead Character remembers it was him who might have suggested they go karaoke.

Stay tuned, for there might or might not be a 4th installment.

If You're Ever in Iloilo, part 2

Season 2 Episode 06

If you're ever in Iloilo, you should know that there's this charming little hotel called Highway21. Out from the main street, it seems like a sleazy motel that couples and trios (depending on your sense of adventure) check into for 2-3 hours of reckless abandon, because it seems to be secluded that way. However, once you see its facade, you'll realize it's actually for decent, fun-loving tourists.

 

After their horrendous experience at City Corporate Inn, Lead Character and friends decided to take some action. Lucky for them, Highway21 was suggested. They didn't have free wi-fi; they charge Php100 for every 24 hours, and the connection wasn't really that fast, but it was miles better than having no connection at all.

Lead Character and friends got a small room that was good for two persons only and just had an extra bed added--both for economic purposes and because Highway21 had no other rooms available.

What surprised Lead Character was the food that the hotel served. For the usual price of around Php150, you'd get huge servings--almost double, in fact. After a night out at Smallville (all the dirt will be exposed in the next installment) where they downed shots of tequila, Lead Character and friends ate the whole day. First was at 12nn. They ordered a bowl of soup that they thought was enough for one person, but turned out to be enough to feed eighteen wrestlers. They also had chicken and pork adobo and chicken curry that they couldn't finish even after their second meal at 4pm. At around 8pm, Lead Character ordered a plateful of spaghetti bolognese that had so much meat in it JabberedOnion couldn't help but dig in herself, despite her assertion that she was not hungry.

Stay tuned to find out how Lead Character and friends partied on a Saturday night in the city of love.

If You're Ever in Iloilo, part 1

Season 2 Episode 05

If you're ever in Iloilo, do not check into City Corporate Inn!

Lead Character and his friends decided to fly to Iloilo for the Visayas Blogger Summit, which Lead Character hoped would improve his sitcom-blog's ratings and thereby avoid getting axed.

The only hotel they found online that had free wi-fi in the rooms at affordable rates was City Corporate Inn. But much to their dismay, the experience was horrific.

There was no Internet connection in the room. They can get into the wifi network, but Internet access was nonexistent. The person-in-charge (or whatever her job title was, as Lead Character thought at first she was the VP of Staff Members Who Do Not Love Their Jobs--she only smiled once; the rest of the time she looked like she was contemplating suicide) went up to their room to show Lead Character and his friends, JabberedOnion and Joy Bee, that she can browse on her laptop. Lead Character wasn't convinced because even his phone could not pick up the Internet connection, as well as JabberedOnion's laptop and iPhone. But as shown in previous episodes, Lead Character doesn't really have the personality to be bossy, so he kept quiet about it. Thankfully, JabberedOnion is a raving maniac when it comes to bad customer service, so she told the alleged VP of SMWDNLTJ off that the Internet was the main reason they chose their hotel. Unfortunately, the issue remained unresolved.

Another shitty thing about the room was that even if it featured a mini-fridge, it had no outlet close by to be plugged into. Joy Bee had to drag the mini-fridge right outside the bathroom, which had the only sensible electrical outlet available.

And just when you think all the terror ends there, you're wrong. Lead Character and friends couldn't find the remote control for the TV anywhere. When they asked Room Service where it was, they were simply told that they were to pay Php 200 for having lost it.

Well, isn't that just icing on the cake.

Stay tuned to find out how Lead Character and his friends found a much better hotel to stay in when you're in Iloilo.

Lead Character Is One of Those Who Can Lower Your Risks of Prostate and Testicular Cancer

Find out from this recent study:

"Conducted over a period of four years, the research involved 600 men aged 23 to 54 who exclusively identify as heterosexual and enjoy penetrative vaginal sex with women. They were divided into two groups: one received oral sex on a daily basis from a team of experienced homosexual men, while the other did not. At the end of the study, all 600 were screened for prostate and testicular cancer. Eight tested positive for prostate cancer; six for testicular. All fourteen were from the group that did not get serviced orally by gay men."

Lead Character Learns Absolute Truths at a Wake

Season 2, Episode 04

LEAD CHARACTER’S distant uncle, who wasn’t that much older than LEAD CHARACTER so he considered him his distant cousin, recently died of a heart attack. At the wake, LEAD CHARACTER is herded by his MOTHER here and there to introduce him to relatives he can no longer recall as having been part of his early years, except for the godmother who used to give him presents every Christmas day.

After the litany, LEAD CHARACTER walks up to the coffin to view his dead cousin. Dead people look very peaceful, something that LEAD CHARACTER envies. People who are left to live usually have things in their heads bugging them, be it something as painful as losing a loved one, or something as wonderful as finding one, or something as mundane as getting a new haircut for a job interview. For LEAD CHARACTER, as long as you’re alive, you’ll always be bound by time—ghosts of the past, challenges of an undecided future, and the strenuous feat of keeping it together for the present. But when you’re dead, you transcend time. There is no past, no present, no future. LEAD CHARACTER wishes he were dead.

However, LEAD CHARACTER’S rumination on death is interrupted when a group of men and women walk in with guitars and sheet music and Bibles. Everyone at the wake is then asked to take their seats. LEAD CHARACTER thinks for a moment that they’re going to have another round of prayers for the dead, but he’s wrong. The arrival of the group of men and women is not for the dead, but for the living. The group, it turns out, is there to proselytize.

After a couple of praise and worship songs, the group’s leader, who looks a lot like German Moreno (thus from hereon will be referred to as GERMAN MORENO), starts his talk with verses from the Bible that state absolute truths about life. They’re absolute truths because they’re from the Bible. Apparently the Christian Bible is as infallible as the sun rising in the east.

Absolute Truth #1: People die.

LEAD CHARACTER is stunned. He thought some people are immortal, like Madonna. But then again, maybe Madonna is already dead. She just looks alive these days because of Adobe Photoshop.

Absolute Truth #2: We’ll never know when we’re going to die.

LEAD CHARACTER is even more stunned. He thought he knew exactly when he’s going to die: October 27th, 2012, 4:38pm.

Absolute Truth #3: There is hell.

LEAD CHARACTER is impressed. Apparently, GERMAN MORENO has been to hell and back.

GERMAN MORENO: Now, if you want to avoid going to hell, whose fires are black, which are a lot more painful than yellow and blue fire, all you need to do is accept Jesus as your personal savior. Now let us all close our eyes and bow our heads. . . .

LEAD CHARACTER looks around. Pretty much everyone is hesitant. Who knows what will happen if everyone had their eyes closed? GERMAN MORENO will still steal a wet kiss from an unsuspecting person?

After a few more urging, everyone bows their heads. LEAD CHARACTER bows his head but keeps his eyes open, keeping close watch on his crotch to make sure nothing untoward will happen to it.

GERMAN MORENO: Now, I would like you to raise your hand if you want me to include you in my prayers.

LEAD CHARACTER knows exactly what is happening. If he raises his hand, GERMAN MORENO will acknowledge that LEAD CHARACTER has accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior, thereby making him go to (gasp!) heaven, a place full of baby harpists in golden diapers. That, for LEAD CHARACTER, is creepy.

GERMAN MORENO: OK, we only have one person here who hasn’t raised his hand. Young man, don’t you want to accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?

LEAD CHARACTER panics. He’s pretty sure GERMAN MORENO is referring to him.

GERMAN MORENO: Young man?

LEAD CHARACTER doesn’t move an inch. He pretends to be asleep.

GERMAN MORENO: Young man, do you want to go to hell?

Yes, LEAD CHARACTER thinks. Hell is full of oiled musclemen screaming. Yes, I’d like to go to hell please.

But LEAD CHARACTER doesn’t respond. Apparently, pretending to be asleep is not helping. LEAD CHARACTER pushes the envelope and pretends to be dead.

Fringe Benefits of Having No Sense of Direction

A lot can be said about people when falling in line at the order counter of McDonald's. There are those that know what they want to order; others change their minds at the last minute; and an unfortunate number cannot afford what they really want, so they're stuck with something else. I have been all three. It's a beautiful day when I crave for a quarter pounder and that's exactly what I get. It's a mess if I crave for a quarter pounder and end up getting the chicken-spaghetti meal, just because the pictures made me change my mind. What would happen is, even if I got satisfied with the chicken and spaghetti, I'd always wonder how I'd have felt had I ordered the quarter pounder that was in my mind in the first place. It's hell if I want a quarter pounder and all I can afford is a cheeseburger (not the cheeseburger meal; just one cheeseburger).

In life, there are people who end up exactly what they've always wanted to be; there are those that wanted to be this, but discover later that they want to be something else; and there are also those that could never be what they want to be, because they do not fulfill the necessary requirements to attain that goal. I have been all three. However, to avoid embarrassing myself, I will not divulge what it was that I wanted and successfully attained, what I thought I wanted and ended up satisfied with something else, and what I could never be or have. Besides, that is not the reason why I'm writing this anyway.

I'm writing this because after having been all three, I am now irreversibly one of the fourth type of people waiting in line at McDonald's. These people are perhaps rare to come across, but not as uncommon as you think. These are the people who, while they might be in line, are not really intent on ordering. They're just there because it's a necessity to eat, and not because they crave for a specific meal. In life, these are the people who have no sense of direction. And I (yes, bitch) am one of them.

It isn't all that bad. When you have no sense of direction, you are in no particular hurry. When you are in no hurry, the less things upset you, if at all. When nothing upsets you, people think you're wise, that you're above them. In a way, you are above them. People sometimes bitch about not getting the correct change at the counter, or being asked to wait for their order, but you, you don't care. And when you finally get your turn to order, you can either ask for something instantly or take your time, oblivious to the people behind you, because you can never hate yourself whether you get a quarter pounder or spaghetti or chicken or end up stepping out to see what Jollibee has. In the same regard, you can write something totally pointless and not even fini