LEAD CHARACTER hops into a cab and tells the CABBIE to take him to the airport, fast, as he’s running late. His flight is at 4:20pm. It’s already 3:10. The CABBIE smiles as he steps on it.
CABBIE: Who’s your President?
LEAD CHARACTER: Huh?
CABBIE: Your President … who are you voting for?
LEAD CHARACTER: Yeah, I know. I was just wondering why you want to know.
CABBIE: You know, people who are in a hurry are usually mocked by Fate. You get all sorts of interceptions along the way and you might end up missing your flight.
LEAD CHARACTER: OK! I’m voting for Noynoy.
The cab accelerates.
CABBIE: I’m voting for Villar.
LEAD CHARACTER: OK.
LEAD CHARACTER manages to stop his face from throwing out a look of disgust. He thinks Villar is full of shit. Villar’s campaign revolves around having grown up poor in order to appeal to the masses. LEAD CHARACTER doesn’t believe any of it, and he’s annoyed that people actually buy it. With Villar in his TVC are really poor children (or child actors portraying poor children), who sing that only Villar can take them out of poverty. If that's the case, why not showcase the children as rich already? Is Villar only planning on making them rich after shooting the commercial, or after the elections, in case he wins? And what if he doesn't win? Will those children stay poor?
CABBIE: Why are you voting for Noynoy, anyway?
LEAD CHARACTER (squirming in his seat): It’s just a family consensus. My mother wants our votes to be uniform.
The truth is, LEAD CHARACTER is still torn between Gibo and Noynoy. Gibo for he’s such a cutie, and Noynoy for having come from a decent, historically-relevant family. Yes, per LEAD CHARACTER’S standards, Kris Aquino is decent, and she herself is historically-relevant—all by herself. (Who else kept an entire nation glued to the TV screen to hear her recount having contracted a sexually transmitted disease?) LEAD CHARACTER is yet to vote for a dream president, though. His dream president would have to have a no-bullshit campaign that encourages a certain belief system that LEAD CHARACTER would have to delve deeper into in another episode as it’s neither here nor there.
Later, they get jammed in traffic. The CABBIE turns to LEAD CHARACTER and winks.
CABBIE: I told you. Interceptions.
LEAD CHARACTER sinks in his seat.
They arrive at the airport at 3:50pm. There should still be enough time. LEAD CHARACTER sprints to the Check-In Counter. There are around 4 people huddled around it. A SECURITY GUARD notices LEAD CHARACTER.
GUARD: Where are you off to?
LEAD CHARACTER: Kalibo.
GUARD (panicked): Oh Em Eff Gee!!! (to the counter) We have another one for Kalibo! This isn’t good…. (to LEAD CHARACTER) Give me your papers! Quick!
LEAD CHARACTER feels like throwing up. He hands his itinerary and ID to the GUARD.
Weird enough, LEAD CHARACTER gets his boarding pass first. The 3 or 4 people queueing, which include a kindly nun, have not gotten their boarding passes yet.
LEAD CHARACTER heads to where he’s supposed to pay for a terminal fee. It’s closed. He doesn’t know what to do. He starts to think how nuns bother him. Nuns immediately get good impressions for wearing a habit. People inevitably think of them as cool and gentle because of what they wear. Even LEAD CHARACTER thinks of them immediately as kind and cool and gentle. Even the nun earlier at the Check-In Counter who moved at a glacial pace seemed nice and readily likable. But the other civilians in line, Lead Character would have to size them up first for the way they speak, the way they dress, and, if possible, see if they were Mac or Windows users.
GUARD: What are you doing? Go to the next one! You’re lucky you were allowed in. The plane’s already cruising….
LEAD CHARACTER runs. He runs his chubby ass out to the gate, zooming past the waiting area, straight to the tarmac where, from a distance, under the piercing heat of the sun, men in yellow point him to where his plane is. Looking ahead, he sees three planes lined up, and he doesn’t know which one the men are pointing to. He takes his chances and goes up to the first one. FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1 is standing over him at the top of the ladder.
LEAD CHARACTER (panting): Is this for Kalibo?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1: Why, yes, Sir.
LEAD CHARACTER, relieved like crazy, steps inside and finds that … lo and behold … he's all alone, except for FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2, who smiles at him earnestly.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2: LEAD CHARACTER, you’re the first to arrive.
THE END
